Goal

I have set a goal for myself. I want to finish Insomniac by the end of summer. Let me repeat myself in big print and all caps so it's set in stone.

I WILL FINISH INSOMNIAC BY THE END OF SUMMER!

There. I think that settles it. Now I have to write it down and send it to Senor Maurer. :)

Keep It Ugly

I have no idea what to talk about. I'm still extremely happy for no reason whatsoever. I think that if this lasts any longer I may become :drumroll: an optimist! :gasp: I know. But I have a feeling an extreme low is going to follow this. It just happens. That's life.

Right now, I'm sitting with the sun streaming through the window (at 7:30, no less) and my cell phone blaring music ("Blue Lips" by Regina Spektor). I'm in my pajamas and my mum and sister are upstairs doing whatever mums and sisters do. My other sister is at Youth Group. When they come down, we're going to eat dessert (I'll prolly just eat some more watermelon) and watch our recorded America's Got Talent/The Voice/Platinum Hit. The only semi-bad things going on at all are the facts that my skin is peeling (ew..) and I'm tired from being with screaming kids at the zoo today. But maybe while I'm waiting I can get some more Insomniac written. :)

Oh, and I'm thinking of changing the blog name to "Keep It Ugly". I like it a lot. Not because I have low self-esteem or anything, I just like the fact that it's kind of like owning yourself and crap. But maybe not. Maybe I'll use it for a story or something..? If I did, I have no idea what the plot would be. Ideas? :cough: Haley? Macy? :cough:

Almighty Monster

My first YouTube upload! Woo hoo! My original poem "Almighty Monster".

Sunburn

There we go. My summer is now complete. Red - on my chest, shoulders, neck, face, and half of my right leg (which, quite frankly, I don't get). And, oddly enough, I love it. I love sunburn, but I know that it's waaaaay bad for my skin so I use sunscreen. But today, I guess it didn't work? I dunno...

THAT totally ruined every single one of my plans for the summer...

You know how earlier I was ranting about having to babysit a bunch of 5-8 year olds this summer? And then, later, how I got out of it? Well, I'm back in it. For three weeks. Starting tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm not that happy right now.

The reasons are as follows:

1. I "sat around" for the last few days. That is untrue and, frankly, demeaning to my lifestyle. I do not "sit around" and "be lazy". Yes, last summer I did practice the "sitting around routine" but that was because I was uncomfortable in such a new, much bigger place and did not know anyone. Now, I know that I could have met people, but I'm not exactly a social butterfly. This summer (that has only just begun, I might add), however, I did not just sit around. I painted a mural on my bedroom wall and rearranged my room by myself. I moved furniture by myself. I worked hard by myself. And what rewards do I get for my three days of self-expression, God-awful heat, and sweat? None. I get punishment. I don't get to work on my writing or my photography or any more creativity. I am sentenced to a summer of tending to scraped knees and whining.
2. I am on the computer "too much". That's horrible to say. It's half-true, though. I am on the computer a lot, but I'm not always on Facebook or Flickr or whatever. I work on my writing and upload and edit my photography and do not "waste my time". Oh, of course I am on social networking sites, but that is when I get my terrible bouts of Writer's Block. I set limits for myself. I will not get on Facebook until I write to *insert length here*. I know how to do that stuff. I know that Facebook is not helping me get anything done. I know how to get things done. I write, just not at an extremely fast pace - not because I'm goofing off, but because I am trying to get everything to sound good so that I don't have to edit more than I should. I like to process everything before I put it on the page. It's the way I am. I'm sorry, but that's how it is and how it will be. Go ahead and deactivate my account, maybe it'll help, but I do get stuff done, contrary to popular belief, it's just... not fast.
3. I got a C+ in Gym. Now, this one doesn't bother me as much as my parents. The way I see it is that it's Gym, I everyone hates Gym, Gym is stupid and embarrassing, and I have the freedom to think so. Sports are not my forte. I stink at every sport known to mankind. I have tried, in the past, to succeed at these things, but after so many let-downs, self-esteem lowerings, and soul-crushing ridicule (well, not exactly soul-crushing, but it was harsher than need be) I just got sick of the same thing over and over and I didn't like it anyway and no one person can be talented in every single field, so I'm just... not. I'm trying, I am, but apparently trying isn't enough for Senor Teacherguy. I am an introverted writer, so get used to it.
4. I need to get an "additude adjustment". This one's bad. This paragraph will be long. I apologize in advance. I AM A TEENAGER. TEENAGERS GO THROUGH THIS. NO ONE IS IMMUNE TO TEENAGE REBELLION. IT IS EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. I need to express myself, my beliefs, my individuality, and I can't do that without disagreeing with people. It's how I am. It's how my mother is (sorry for throwing you under the bus, Mom, but I believe it's your gene). I leave nothing unsaid, nothing undone. My opinion will not be buried because you don't like it. I will voice it, because it is mine and I am entitled to it. I will not swallow anyone else's opinions if I don't think that they are correct to me. I will listen, but if I don't like it, it's not mine and don't expect me to advertise it. Expect me to counter it. Expect me to share my side of things. Do not expect me to be happy with your opinion. By the way, if we didn't have diverse opinions, where would music be? Or art? Or any form of self-expression, for that matter? Where would I be? I'd be eating math textbooks, wearing what people tell me to, listening and adopting peoples' opinions, and, being silent and taking everyone's crap. That is not me and that's because the additude I posess is my own and I will have it and get punished accordingly. I'm sorry if this sounds awfully huffy, but that's how I see it.

...and I'm still going to do it with this being my only complaint until it's over. I swear.

All Righty Then

Fine! Be like that, you stupid machine! DON'T upload my video! See if I care!

My computer's being mean to me and not uploading my vlog. I tried it twice and gave it five hours. FIVE. That's insane, isn't it? Oh well. I guess we're just going to have to beg for YouTube... stay tuned!

Basically, I was just talking about my stories and summarizing and explaining the genesis of the idea. I was also interrupted by family members... twice. And, if it would upload, you would get to meet my kitty, Pickle.

My poor camera thinks it didn't do its job, that poor Nikon Coolpix L120... It's okay, you did what you were supposed to. Don't worry little camera...

We'll get this sorted out and I WILL have a vlog on here before July!

Obsessed

This is my new favorite singer from The Voice... except she got eliminated. I still like her. Her name is Rebecca Loebe. She and the guy that made it through (Devon Barley) sang a great duet and I love it so much I thought I'd share it with you because maybe you don't watch The Voice.