Monday, June 6, 2011

THAT totally ruined every single one of my plans for the summer...

You know how earlier I was ranting about having to babysit a bunch of 5-8 year olds this summer? And then, later, how I got out of it? Well, I'm back in it. For three weeks. Starting tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm not that happy right now.

The reasons are as follows:
  1. I "sat around" for the last few days. That is untrue and, frankly, demeaning to my lifestyle. I do not "sit around" and "be lazy". Yes, last summer I did practice the "sitting around routine" but that was because I was uncomfortable in such a new, much bigger place and did not know anyone. Now, I know that I could have met people, but I'm not exactly a social butterfly. This summer (that has only just begun, I might add), however, I did not just sit around. I painted a mural on my bedroom wall and rearranged my room by myself. I moved furniture by myself. I worked hard by myself. And what rewards do I get for my three days of self-expression, God-awful heat, and sweat? None. I get punishment. I don't get to work on my writing or my photography or any more creativity. I am sentenced to a summer of tending to scraped knees and whining.
  2. I am on the computer "too much". That's horrible to say. It's half-true, though. I am on the computer a lot, but I'm not always on Facebook or Flickr or whatever. I work on my writing and upload and edit my photography and do not "waste my time". Oh, of course I am on social networking sites, but that is when I get my terrible bouts of Writer's Block. I set limits for myself. I will not get on Facebook until I write to *insert length here*. I know how to do that stuff. I know that Facebook is not helping me get anything done. I know how to get things done. I write, just not at an extremely fast pace - not because I'm goofing off, but because I am trying to get everything to sound good so that I don't have to edit more than I should. I like to process everything before I put it on the page. It's the way I am. I'm sorry, but that's how it is and how it will be. Go ahead and deactivate my account, maybe it'll help, but I do get stuff done, contrary to popular belief, it's just... not fast.
  3. I got a C+ in Gym. Now, this one doesn't bother me as much as my parents. The way I see it is that it's Gym, I everyone hates Gym, Gym is stupid and embarrassing, and I have the freedom to think so. Sports are not my forte. I stink at every sport known to mankind. I have tried, in the past, to succeed at these things, but after so many let-downs, self-esteem lowerings, and soul-crushing ridicule (well, not exactly soul-crushing, but it was harsher than need be) I just got sick of the same thing over and over and I didn't like it anyway and no one person can be talented in every single field, so I'm just... not. I'm trying, I am, but apparently trying isn't enough for Senor Teacherguy. I am an introverted writer, so get used to it.
  4. I need to get an "additude adjustment". This one's bad. This paragraph will be long. I apologize in advance. I AM A TEENAGER. TEENAGERS GO THROUGH THIS. NO ONE IS IMMUNE TO TEENAGE REBELLION. IT IS EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. I need to express myself, my beliefs, my individuality, and I can't do that without disagreeing with people. It's how I am. It's how my mother is (sorry for throwing you under the bus, Mom, but I believe it's your gene). I leave nothing unsaid, nothing undone. My opinion will not be buried because you don't like it. I will voice it, because it is mine and I am entitled to it. I will not swallow anyone else's opinions if I don't think that they are correct to me. I will listen, but if I don't like it, it's not mine and don't expect me to advertise it. Expect me to counter it. Expect me to share my side of things. Do not expect me to be happy with your opinion. By the way, if we didn't have diverse opinions, where would music be? Or art? Or any form of self-expression, for that matter? Where would I be? I'd be eating math textbooks, wearing what people tell me to, listening and adopting peoples' opinions, and, being silent and taking everyone's crap. That is not me and that's because the additude I posess is my own and I will have it and get punished accordingly. I'm sorry if this sounds awfully huffy, but that's how I see it.
...and I'm still going to do it with this being my only complaint until it's over. I swear.


  1. I thought you might write about the totally awesome party you went to on the 4th. (Hint hint...)
    B.T.W. your poem makes me cry EVERY TIME I READ IT! I think words really like you becasue together you two make some pretty amazing things.

  2. Ahw! Thank you! :) Words and me are tight.

    And, sure! I was just so... oh, I dunno, in shock of how awesome that party was that I didn't write anything about it. I think I may just give it a shot and write a short story about it. Maybe? I have lots going on right now...